Comparison is a modern day catalyst for destiny diversion and amputation
It can be defined as
- The action or an instance of comparing
- The quality of being equivalent or similar
- Estimate or measure of similarity or differences
There are several definitions to this but one thing is sure, it’s an unhealthy way to measure standards, but unfortunately it has become a yardstick for parents to measure the success and results of their wards.
Comparison undermines the potential of most kids and kills the ability of children to express themselves differently in the best way possible .most parents have refuse to understand that the path of a child has been predetermined and predestined by God, meaning that no child or ward is equal or the same, they can never follow the same path, yes, they might be similar but never the same.
Comparison as been known, to encourage envy and unhealthy competition between children, amidst other unpopular negative effects.
Often times when we compare our children to others or their friends, it diminishes their self confidence and they begin to think less of themselves, slowly but steadily their will to want to do more is reduced cause they feel they aren’t good enough, and when they do it’s no longer to their satisfaction but to impress you and better there friend who is now seen as a competition. As parents we dutifully should help our children be better than themselves, be best at what they do and reach their peak at all times not to chase of be like some else.
If you keep comparing your child with others who you think are apparently better, he or she may begin to spasm of envy and often time make them covetous. Often times we give this kids which we think are better some sort of preferential treatment especially when they are siblings. This might in turn lead to hatred and show of aggression
When we continually castigate our kids, they become torn down and now always feel they are not good enough, which reduces the strength and the will to fight on, they become negative and begin to feel inadequate, having a losers mindset before they even embark on any task.
Am quite sure no one wants to raise kids who are loser, have losing mentality or have negativity all around them, to be successful the first thing to have is positivity and a winning mentality.
Comparison can beef up some sort of dislike between parents and kids, children naturally like to be where happiness is and they can only get that from people who believe in them, and the affinity for such people tend to increase, and gradually they drift away from you as a parent, and most times this has been the genesis of most “child- parent crisis”.
The most damaging of its effect is it create adults who lack self confidence, do not believe in themselves, requires constant supervision, adult who see everything as a competition, aim at beating the next man, it takes away the joy of being successful, or living life in stages .
No one said parenting was easy but we can’t continue to raise up damaged kids through comparison, its best we embrace new ways of child upbringing in this new age.